


the edge of your smile

by misskatieleigh



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Facial Shaving, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 01:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misskatieleigh/pseuds/misskatieleigh
Summary: Cassian is hurt on a mission, but needs to shave to meet with another contact. Bodhi offers to help. Being that close to each other brings up feelings they've been trying to hide.





	the edge of your smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rogueshadows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueshadows/gifts).



> Thanks to [Bright_Elen](http://bright-elen.Tumblr.com) for the beta and encouragement!

Cassian hissed and something clattered into the sink. Bodhi looked up from his datapad, breath catching in his throat at the sight of Cassian's back framed inside the rectangle of the 'fresher door. Despite their shared quarters, most days Bodhi managed to keep his feelings for Cassian well hidden. He was still trying to piece himself back together, still trying to reconcile that he’d made it off that cursed planet alive. He figured that Cassian had enough on his plate without the added stress of Bodhi’s possibly-unwanted advances. 

Still, when faced with the vulnerability of a set of bared shoulders and the glimpse of Cassian’s eyes clenched tightly shut in the mirror’s reflection, Bodhi let himself forget everything for a moment. 

“Everything alright in there?” he called out, concentrating on the grip of his fingers around his datapad. He couldn’t even remember what he’d been looking at, the characters on the screen blurring together. 

In the ‘fresher, Cassian stood up from where he was leaning over the sink, visibly setting his shoulders straight. It looked like a mask falling over him and Bodhi felt his heart clench in response. Cassian’s eyes met his in the mirror and he twisted to reach for a hand towel with his left hand, pressing it against the corner of his jaw awkwardly. His right hand was pinned against his chest, immobilized by a brace from an altercation with an Annoo-dat on his last mission. He was lucky to have escaped, close to eight feet of reptilian terrorist was nothing to sniff at, but bacta was being held on reserve for emergencies so his broken fingers and wrenched shoulder were left to heal with time. Not that it stopped Cassian, who seemed to think that his body was only an afterthought to any mission that needed doing. 

Bodhi stood up from his bed, taking care to place the datapad in the center. He’d already cracked the screen on three and was walking a fine line with the quartermaster who had better things to deal with than clumsy former Imperials. There was some comfort in being deliberate with things; he could control his pace across the room, could school his features into something curious instead of yearning. Reaching the ‘fresher door, Bodhi leaned against the frame and shoved his hands into the pockets of his coveralls. Bodhi kept his voice quiet; even though Cassian had watched him walk over he still felt like his voice might break something, some fragile shell that lingered between them. 

“Cass.”

Cassian turned and pulled the towel away from his face, revealing a small cut that welled with blood almost immediately. His mouth twisted into a grimace and he brought the towel back up to press against his face. “I’m fine. Just not as handy with my left as I expected.”

He seemed to notice the accidental joke a moment later, the corner of his eyes crinkling up even though his mouth barely moved. Bodhi forced himself to take a breath and swallow before he stepped forward into the small room. 

“I could help… I mean. If you like.”

He didn’t know why he was nervous; it was an honest response. One any friend would offer to another friend who needed help. Even when their friend was standing very close and wearing very little clothing. 

Cassian shook his head, the beginning of a smile on his mouth. “No, it’s fine, there’s no need to trouble yourself. I can... I’ll just go down to the barber or something.”

Bodhi barely realized that he was moving until his fingers were brushing against Cassian’s arm, gentle against the stark black straps that held his curled fingers against his chest. All his breath seemed trapped in his throat for a moment, a rush of thoughts twisting through his head.  _ ‘Too close, too close, what are you doing, he’ll know.’ _

Out loud he said, “It’s no trouble. I’m not - I haven’t any plans that I’m interrupting.” Bodhi forced a smile then. “Can’t do any worse than you at least, right?”

Cassian’s eyes flickered over his face and Bodhi wondered what he saw. He was no spy, though he’d managed to hide his revulsion for the Empire long enough to get Galen’s message delivered, but in that moment he felt sure that Cassian could see right through to the heart of him. It was more than a little frightening and thrilling at the same time. 

Whatever he saw, Cassian finally nodded and quirked a smile at Bodhi. “As long as you don’t mind then,” he said, glancing around the small room. “Where do you want me?”

Bodhi pressed his lips together and did not say what he was thinking.  _ ‘Everywhere. Anywhere. With me, always.’  _

There wasn’t much room for furniture in the enclosed space, just a sink with a small counter, a toilet and a shower, a hook on the wall for towels. There was hardly room for two men in there, no matter how slight Bodhi felt through his shoulders most days. He gestured toward the counter with his chin, shrugging slightly. “Either up there or on the toilet I guess, but it will be easier if you’re up higher I think.”

Nodding, Cassian angled his hip up against the counter, bending his knee to lift one side of his body up. He grabbed at Bodhi’s shoulder suddenly, pushing down to lift the rest of his weight up and sending Bodhi’s heart hammering against his chest. Cassian grimaced and wiggled around for a moment, finally settling with his back up against the wall. His hand was still gripped on Bodhi’s shoulder, a fact that he realized belatedly, pulling his hand down to his lap. Bodhi cleared his throat and looked anywhere but at Cassian’s face. It didn’t help, as the only other place to look was at the sharp line of his collarbone, the bruised tips of his fingers peeking out of their bandages, the line of dark hair running down from his navel and disappearing under the fold of towel at his hips. Bodhi dragged his eyes to the sink and turned on the tap, rescuing the razor from where it had fallen and putting in the stopper to fill it with hot water. Then he ran through the calculations for the hyperspace jump from Eadu to Jedha, willing his dick back into complacency inside the confines of his coveralls and wincing at the memories he’d inadvertently brought up. 

When he looked back at Cassian, he almost lost his nerve. Cassian had his head leaned back against the wall, eyes half closed as he watched Bodhi. There was trust there, in the curve of a bared throat, in the lazy way his eyes drifted along with the motion of Bodhi’s hands. An ache settled in his chest and he reached out to tip Cassian’s chin up, if only to escape eyes that saw everything he wanted to hide. 

Bodhi cleared his throat, breaking the silence as he moved to lather soap on Cassian’s face. “So, why are you shaving anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without the beard.”

Cassian glanced down, holding his face still as Bodhi spread the white lather over his cheeks. “Need to check in with one of my contacts. The person he knows is... younger looking. Being clean-shaven helps with the illusion.”

Bodhi tried not to scowl. “Is that...? I mean... Oh, nevermind.” 

Cassian lifted his hand from his lap, catching Bodhi’s elbow in his palm. “Finish what you were going to say. Please.” 

Bodhi sagged, tugging his lower lip into his mouth while he searched for the words that wouldn’t make him sound like he was second guessing Cassian. “I just want... I don’t know. I don’t like seeing you hurt.” 

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say, but it seemed to get the point across. Cassian let go of Bodhi’s arm and dropped his hand back to into his lap. Then he nodded, closing his eyes while Bodhi finished with the soap and swirled his fingers in the stoppered sink to rinse them. Bodhi picked up the razor and touched Cassian’s chin to turn his face to one side, his hips bumping against Cassian’s knees when he stepped closer. Cassian let himself be moved, but he spread his knees without being asked, giving Bodhi room to settle between them. 

Bodhi felt like he ought to be shaking, but his hands were steady. He’d flown ships through worse storms than the strange tense feeling in his limbs. Whatever fallout would come from the offer he’d made, charging forward seemed the only sure course. 

At first, Cassian watched him, peering out from beneath the dark fall of his eyelashes. It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling, being watched like that, though it made him very aware of the way he set his jaw or caught his tongue between his teeth. Eventually, Cassian closed his eyes completely, his body relaxing as Bodhi turned his face the other way. The hand on his hip was unexpected though, Cassian’s fingers slipped through the loop of fabric meant to hold a tool or a belt and then rested there. His hand was warm, and the pressure of it against Bodhi’s skin through the heavy fabric made everything between them seem closer suddenly. Bodhi tipped Cassian’s chin up, pulling the razor down the delicate skin carefully. When he was finished, Bodhi set the razor down and brought his hands up to Cassian’s face, meaning to check that he hadn’t missed anywhere. Cassian opened his eyes then, blinking a few times to adjust to the light and then holding Bodhi’s gaze. His hand tightened against Bodhi’s hip, trying to pull him closer. 

“All finished with me?”

Bodhi spoke without thinking. “Never.”

His hands stilled on Cassian’s jaw and Cassian’s eyes darted down to his mouth, his own lips tilting up at the corners. “Never?”

Bodhi dropped his hands, pulling away from Cassian abruptly. “Sorry. That’s not… nevermind.”

Bodhi pulled the plug in the sink, running the water to rinse the soap and hair down the drain. He wet a cloth, moved to wipe Cassian’s face and then second-guessed himself, holding it out without meeting Cassian’s eyes. 

“Here, sorry. You’re all set.”

Cassian looked amused for a second, then his mouth twisted into a frown. Instead of taking the cloth, he wrapped his fingers around Bodhi’s wrist. “Bodhi. Bodhi, please don’t run away.”

Bodhi let out a sound caught between a laugh and a sob, but he let Cassian pull him back between his knees and he made himself look up at Cassian’s face. 

“I keep waiting for you to say what you mean, but I think I’m not being fair. So, I’ll tell you what I’ve been thinking and then we’ll see what happens. Okay?”

Bodhi nodded, but his eyebrows drew together, lines creasing his forehead. Cassian’s fingers slipped over his skin and Bodhi couldn’t help but lean into the touch, some mournful sound trying to build itself up in his chest.

“Stop that...I’m not. This isn’t me letting you down easy. Please, I need to tell you and I can’t if you look at me like I’ve kicked your puppy.”

Bodhi swallowed back the noise and tipped his mouth into a watery smile.

“I’m not sure that’s better, but I’ll take it.”

Cassian paused, then dipped down and pressed his mouth against Bodhi’s in a chaste kiss. 

“Alright. So, I’ve been thinking about doing that. For - for a while now. I thought you might be interested, but you’ve been keeping your distance, so I didn’t want to push.”

Bodhi let out all the breath he’d been holding. Cassian was still talking but he couldn’t follow the words. Cassian had kissed him. Cassian wanted to kiss him. 

Cassian had  _ kissed _ him... 

Bodhi slid his hands into Cassian’s hair and pulled him forward, cutting off whatever Cassian was saying when their mouths met clumsily. Then Cassian seemed to melt against him, opening his mouth to meet the next kiss with the soft slide of his tongue. Bodhi chased it, that sound caught in his chest escaping with a moan of appreciation. 

Cassian pulled back, a real, full smile on his face then, eyes crinkling at the edges in a way that made Bodhi’s chest ache for other reasons. He wanted Cassian to always smile like that, to always look at  _ him _ like that. He leaned forward, dropping his head against Cassian's shoulder and drawing in the scent of him, warm skin and shaving soap. 

Outside of Cassian's watchful gaze, it was easier to let the words spill from his mouth. “I've wanted to do that for ages, you know. Never thought I'd get to.”

Cassian let go of Bodhi's wrist, and he ran his uninjured hand up Bodhi's back to cup the back of Bodhi's head in his palm. He hummed a little in response, but didn't say anything. Bodhi turned into Cassian's neck, breathing against the smooth skin there. After a moment, Bodhi gathered up the nerve to pull back from the cocoon of Cassian's embrace. 

Without the shadow of hair on his face, Cassian did look younger, but he also looked sharper, the point of his chin and the angle of his jaw more noticeable. Bodhi brought his hands up to Cassian's face again, for no other reason than because he could, tracing over his cheekbones and then behind the curve of his ears. 

“Do I pass muster then?” Cassian's voice was rough, whatever confessions he'd made seemingly scratching his throat on their way out. Or perhaps it was just nerves, and Bodhi just letting his mind wander to more poetic things. He leaned up and kissed Cassian's cheek, smiling as he pulled back again. 

“It's different, but still you, so I approve.”

Cassian lifted half his mouth in a smile and then shifted his hips forward. “I'm glad, but I'm starting to feel a little underdressed. Or else you're overdressed.”

Bodhi felt his cheeks heat, so caught up in being able to kiss that he'd forgotten about Cassian's towel clad hips. He stepped back and offered his shoulder for Cassian to balance against as he slid off the counter. Cassian used the opportunity to pull him into a hug, albeit a one-armed one. Bodhi wrapped both arms around him in return, sliding his hands over skin chilled from their press against the wall. Neither man seemed to want to move, but they somehow managed to negotiate their way out of the ‘fresher and into the room proper, some part of one always in contact with the other. 

Outside the bright lighting of the sink, Cassian's hands felt more intimate somehow, tugging Bodhi up against him with intent. He paused before reaching for the zip on Bodhi's coveralls, but Bodhi brushed his hands away and wrenched it open, tugging at his sleeves to free his arms. Beneath was a t-shirt that matched every other on base, worn thin from too much washing, but soft enough still. Cassian touched his arms and his chest, exploring all the places that Bodhi had already been able to touch on him. 

Bodhi leaned into his hands, pulling Cassian into more and more desperate kisses. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had spent this long touching him above the waist, like they had time for that sort of indulgence instead of a mad rush to get off. Unfortunately, time was still moving forward and each tick of the chrono was bringing them closer to when Cassian would have to leave. Bodhi reached up for one last kiss, melting into the exploration of Cassian's tongue against his own. Then he pulled back, a little breathless and already aching for more.

“When - when do you have to go?”

Cassian seemed to be having just as much trouble staying on track, already moving forward into Bodhi's space. He stopped though, looking at the time and letting out a soft groan. 

“Sooner than I'd like, actually. I should have already started packing.” He hesitated, then spoke again. “For what it's worth, I'd much rather stay with you.”

Bodhi smiled and stepped back into Cassian's arms, pressing lingering kisses where his neck met his shoulder. He pressed his words into Cassian's skin as well, hoping they'd stick there. “I know. Just - come back. In one piece, preferably.”

Cassian laughed and a warm feeling settled into Bodhi's stomach. “I'll do my best.”

Bodhi hugged him tighter. “Good. And when you get back, we can talk about what else we've been wanting to do.”

“Well, that’s certainly incentive.”

Then he kissed Bodhi again and Bodhi didn't feel bad at all about making him late. They couldn't leave without him anyway.


End file.
